how hairy? two words: wookie tits
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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