Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Randomize
