Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
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