hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
Blood and glitter go together right?
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
Randomize
