I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
Randomize
