I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
He's on the porch naked. Help.
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