I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
Randomize
