We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize
