I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
Randomize
