We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
why is half of my head shaved?
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