A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
21 People Confess What It’s Really Like At An Orgy
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
These 15 Honest Illustrations Show What Women Do When No One Is Watching
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want