No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
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Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
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Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
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