I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.