Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
These 23 People Had The Most Insane Spring Breaks Ever
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
25 Women On How They Let Their Oblivious Partners Know They Want To Bone
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing