Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
