I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
Randomize