I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
Hello my rib-scented angel!
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
