He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
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