does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
Randomize