Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
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