Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
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