I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
Randomize
