He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize