your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
Randomize
