We need to rekindle our bromance
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
OPIZZABONMYDICK
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
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