I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
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