That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
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