We need to rekindle our bromance
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
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