I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
Randomize
