i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
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