Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
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