i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
Randomize
