she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
Just invented taco cereal.
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
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