So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
I'm going to invent an ap that tests your stress levels before texting and will say something like "nope, go rub one out and try again in 10 min"
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Randomize
