I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
I'm having to shit out rocks
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
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