I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
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