I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
