we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
I love how my cats smell like pot.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
Randomize
