If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
Randomize
