Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
I just blew my weed a kiss
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Randomize
