You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
Randomize
