I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Randomize
