Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
I checked into jail on foursquare
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
Randomize