ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
I licked your asshole in confidence.
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
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