I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
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