what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
Randomize
