Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
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