A few issues tonight. 1) Drunk since 1pm. 2) At the bar at 4pm. 3) James brought his sister, who has enormous breasts, isnt shy about cleavage, obviously slutty, and makes me want to do things that would even have Atheists sending me to hell. However, she's wearing glitter, so all Im thinking about is Edward Cullen. Go ahead and rip up my Man Card.
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
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