I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Randomize
