Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
I need to stop being so honest when I'm drunk. I got proposed to by a stranger again last night. It's not my fault that I would be perfectly ok making sandwiches and giving blow jobs for the rest of my life.
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
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