They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
Randomize
