You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
Randomize
