I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
Randomize
