Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
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Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
The feeling are messing with the penis
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
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