I am in a vortex of obligation.
So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
Randomize
