There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
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