O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
Randomize
