My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Randomize
