Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
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