He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
