i just identified you from a description of your pipe
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
Randomize
