Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
I want her autograph on my taint
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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