There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
I think I am morally bankrupt
Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
You're a waste of cheezeits
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
Randomize
