well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
Randomize
