I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
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